The Bullshit List

In an effort to keep ourselves honest whilst delivering you Shitty story after Shitty story, here is The Shit List’s List of Shit that we believe.  In giving you our honest opinion, now you’ll know if you’re being Bullshitted by a Bullshitter or not. This list will constantly be updated.

1. LGBT Rights

• We believe any man or woman has the right to marry any other man or woman they want to.
• We believe that any individual who DOESN’T believe in LGBT rights has the right to say so- in any non-violent way they want-as protected by America’s First Amendment.
• We believe that no matter who you love, you have the right to marry that person and make a life with them…
• We believe that straight couples have rights too, and the rights of gay couples DO NOT take precedence over the rights of straight people, or any other people. The issue has always been about equality and acceptance, and both of those ideas are two-way streets.

2. Politics

• We believe that America’s political system is broken.
• We believe that Big Government is bad for the Little People of America.
• We believe the issue isn’t about Obama or Romney: It’s about the fact that those are our only two choices.
• We believe that if your answer to the previous statement is, “That’s not true. We can elect anyone we want,” then you are Full of Shit.
• We believe in human greed.
• We believe that if a human has a choice to profit personally or to enable profit for all, that person will choose personal profit over the greater good 95% of the time.
• We believe in Jeff Daniels speech in the opening scene of the first episode of The Newsroom.

3. Religion

• Every single person on Earth has the right to believe in any form of religion they want to.
• No religion is any better than any other.  If you are trying to rate a religion, you are obviously prejudice against religions that aren’t yours.
• Religion is about belief, NOT fact.  You believe in God, or Jesus, or Allah or Muhammed. Others believe in  L. Ron Hubbard or Haile Selassie I or Karma.  Religion = Belief, not fact…so you can’t prove one right or another one wrong.
• Any religion that tells you not to believe in any other religion might not be a good religion.
• If your religion tells you to ‘Save’ me because I don’t follow your religion, and you think I need saving…don’t bother…I’m good.

4. Guns

• We believe that guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
• We believe that it doesn’t make sense to adjust the laws that govern millions in order to compensate for the less than 1% of people who don’t follow those laws.
• We believe that the 2nd Amendment protects a person’s right to bear arms, and shouldn’t be impinged upon.
• We believe that there is no good reason that a 24-year-old needs a semi-automatic weapon.
• We believe that a scenario where the government/military has all the automatic weapons and the people have only handguns is a bad scenario.

5. Celebrity

• We believe that musicians, actors, actresses, and athletes; their friends, their publicists, and their   agents, are all Full of Shit.
• We believe that there is a special section in Hell reserved for each member of the paparazzi.
• We believe that a collection of grown adults who hunt down humans who are more famous than themselves, in order to hassle them and take their pictures,  are a blight on society.
• We believe that if you are a famous celebrity it should be because you are exceedingly good at something. Therefore…
• We DO NOT believe that Reality Celebrities are actual celebrities. Also…
• We DO NOT believe anything a publicist says: Their job is to make their client look good, no matter what.
• We believe that the opposite of everything Lindsay Lohan says is true.

6. Hiring in America

• America’s economy is broken.  Most people ignore the fact that this might have something to do with hiring practices in this country.
• Nepotism is rampant. If you own a company and think a mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle or cousin is the BEST choice for a vacant position…you’re probably wrong.
• Favoritism is rampant: If you own a company and think the BEST choice to fill a position is a friend, your friend’s children, an in-law, or any other sort of acquantence…you’re probably wrong.
• The internet has changed the landscape of hiring.  HR people need to adapt to the fact that the BEST candidate for the job might not have the best resume: You are hiring PEOPLE, not resumes.
• If America doesn’t start hiring the BEST candidates for jobs, we will continue to not be the best country.
• Aggregate job websites like Monster, CareerBuilder, etc. exist to streamline the application process and make it easier on people searching for jobs.  Knowing that, I shouldn’t have to be sent to a company’s website to fill out the same info the aggregate site already has.
• If companies want data entry done, they should hire someone for it.  Why should I enter information into your website that exists on my resume, which you already have.  So you can sell my info and make $$ off me?
• H.R. departments are always putting out lists of what to do on a resume and what not to.  I have a great idea: How bout you DO YOUR JOB, look through the resume, and decide for yourself…you lazy assholes.